At 15 years old I began to notice that my depression was increasingly getting worse. I wasn't comfortable in my own skin. While my other high school friends were shopping at the trendiest boutiques, I was purchasing outfits from the plus size woman's store. During high school my weight kept creeping up on me, but it seemed I subconsciously ignored it. Until one day I weighed myself and I was over 200lbs. My family grew concerned about my ongoing weight issue that they opted to send me to a weight loss camp in Boston, Massachusetts. I spent 6 weeks there and made a ton of friends. I finally felt accepted amongst people my age. We all had one thing in common and that was an unhealthy relationship with food. We were able to connect and have a common understanding. Although I learned a lot and lost 25lbs the tools I was taught weren't implemented when I returned home. I went right back to my old ways and gained back the weight I lost and then some. I tried all the diets, pills, got a gym membership as well as a nutritionist and dietitian. Nothing was working for me because I was a compulsive emotional binge eater. It was as if I didn't have an "off" switch in my head. I couldn't stop myself from consuming large quantities of food. Life seemed to be at a standstill for me. I was on a cocktail of anti depressants because I was feeling so low. However the side effect from the medications was weight gain. I was drugged and constantly hungry. I was hoping the meds would make me feel better but in reality they made me feel worse. I always thought I just needed to try harder to lose weight. If only I had more willpower things would get better. It was clear to me that I had to find a way to live a long and healthy life.
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