No longer hungry like the "Wolff"

During my college years I recognized how badly my binge eating had become. I was terrified when I stepped on the scale and read 240lbs. How did I get here? Where did I go wrong? All these questions consumed my mind constantly. I found myself avoiding activities with my family and friends because of fear. Fear that people were talking & laughing about my weight, and fear that they would look at me with shame for what I was eating. All those fears enhanced my anxiety and depression. I was once an outgoing social butterfly. I had now become overly self conscious. In 2006 I graduated from beauty school. It was one of the biggest highlights of my life. Once I received my cosmetology license I began working at a salon. I used to refer to one of my coworkers as "the incredible shrinking woman." Within weeks she kept getting smaller and smaller. I had to know what her secret was. As a result of undergoing the Lap-Band procedure my coworker was shedding her weight at a miraculous rate. Needless to say I was thoroughly intrigued. I began to research and do my homework in order to fully comprehend this weight loss surgery. Once I was aware of all the pro's and con's it was apparent that this was the right move for me to make. After many consultations I finally met the right Doctor to perform the surgery on me. On September 21st 2007 I underwent the hour and half procedure. That date is somewhat like a second birthday for me. I felt reborn in some strange way. It was the beginning of my new life!

Dieting is not a piece of cake

At 15 years old I began to notice that my depression was increasingly getting worse. I wasn't comfortable in my own skin. While my other high school friends were shopping at the trendiest boutiques, I was purchasing outfits from the plus size woman's store. During high school my weight kept creeping up on me, but it seemed I subconsciously ignored it. Until one day I weighed myself and I was over 200lbs. My family grew concerned about my ongoing weight issue that they opted to send me to a weight loss camp in Boston, Massachusetts. I spent 6 weeks there and made a ton of friends. I finally felt accepted amongst people my age. We all had one thing in common and that was an unhealthy relationship with food. We were able to connect and have a common understanding. Although I learned a lot and lost 25lbs the tools I was taught weren't implemented when I returned home. I went right back to my old ways and gained back the weight I lost and then some. I tried all the diets, pills, got a gym membership as well as a nutritionist and dietitian. Nothing was working for me because I was a compulsive emotional binge eater. It was as if I didn't have an "off" switch in my head. I couldn't stop myself from consuming large quantities of food. Life seemed to be at a standstill for me. I was on a cocktail of anti depressants because I was feeling so low. However the side effect from the medications was weight gain. I was drugged and constantly hungry. I was hoping the meds would make me feel better but in reality they made me feel worse. I always thought I just needed to try harder to lose weight. If only I had more willpower things would get better. It was clear to me that I had to find a way to live a long and healthy life.

Cupcakes or Kickball?

I am 26 years old and have struggled with food addiction for the majority of my life. Food was always a source of comfort to me as a child and even as an adult. Growing up in Southern California wasn't easy when your overweight. Its unfortunate but true that looks and body image play a huge role in acceptance amongst your peers. During my childhood I was somewhat of an active kid. My days were filled with after school activities such as dancing, swimming or playing softball. By the time puberty came about I changed in many ways. Instead of burning calories I was burning a hole in the couch cushion. I no longer had the desire to be apart of a team. I became introverted and food became my new found friend. Throughout my life I've always been told, "you have such a pretty face..if only you were to lose the weight." My days were defined as good or bad by what I ate and how my clothes fit.